Today is a day of want. And my want speaks like this: come to me, talk to me, make yourself visible for me, understandable. I want you. I want to speak with you, I want a sign. I want to feel you like all others feel you, and yet I want to feel everything in my own way. I wanna feel seen. Send me a sign. Free me from my backache for a couple of days. Send me a dream, one that I will remember when I wake up. Let me feel right, let me feel loved, let me feel the belonging I crave. I want you and I want you on my own terms today, right here, right now, in all my imperfections and flaws and mistakes – and I know my biggest, unforgivable, mistake is this wanting, so raw and violent, so blind. But that's the point: I want you to want me at my worst. At my absolute worst. Show me that I can be wanted, loved, seen, even at my worst. I dare you. And I know that only I will lose, because this is how I scare and keep everyone and everything very very far from me. This is how I keep myself alone.
So now I'm crying: my pain demands to be felt and my fire demands to burn and I make myself cry. Today is a day like that.
“Whatever”, you say, shrugging.
And, to my disbelief, all I feel is an embrace.
Valeria, 40, from the South of Italy. Not so long ago, and in the most unlikely place, I stumbled upon Loki, and then he showed me a whole world of spirituality, wider and richer than I could imagine. I'm still a beginner and I've never been happier to be so.