• Rabbit


i look back on skipping dinner to buy paper and

shoplifting cinnamon gum to keep your name in my silent mouth,

hungry mouth, hungry but awake and

alive and i think

my god, we were beautiful then

wide eyed with the dawn and running about wherever i pleased and

that howling void in my belly was real and physical and now


still hollow with abstinence, but not the same

i've got the money and not the paper

i've got a week's worth of dinners on ice and

too many places to be and

no more running about and

no need to sneak my gum out under my phone like a shamed dog

and no more gum at all, because

these days

the sugar makes me sick

and the whiskey makes me sick

and the pills make me sick

and the fucking


makes me sick

bring back that other void, i say

on my knees, begging,

bring back that lightwell,

sunlight warm and open and reverberating just to hold that song

pouring out of my silent mouth and you and you and you -

and you put your hand to my face like a mourner and say

i cannot bring back what wasn't mine


Author: Rabbit

I'm Rabbit, a queer androgyne born and raised in Southern Appalachia, now far travelled. I've been a Lokean for ten years and I am a godspouse-to-be. Mainly free verse, a little prose. Other devotionals and odds and ends can be found on my tumblr


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